I felt ashamed of being different and ashamed of feeling that way -- Amy Tan

Protagonist: Exploring Her World

You've found the story you are going to write. Now you are finding the girl/young woman/old woman who begins and ends this tale. (Hint: She isn't you. She is someone you used to be. You do need to get reacquainted with this old friend!) It’s a big job, but today, you only have one task. Today, you only need to figure out where she is at the beginning of your story, before everything happens. How is she different from the woman you wrote about yesterday?

(Note: Right now we are exploring your story in chronological order, but we are not working on stylistic questions about where you will open your story - eg., opening scene in the middle of the story and flashing back, etc. Today we are starting to get the very basic beginning-to-end story of what happened. You will play with time in later drafts.)

For this exercise, I am going to ask you to write in the third person. (Meaning you will write she/her instead of I/me.) Again, you probably won't write your memoir in the third person, but doing so here will enrich your exploration of her world and improve your story. Cultivate a breath of distance between you and her. Think of her as someone you are observing, with compassion. Be a loving presence that she can trust as you ask her to reveal more of herself to you.

Step One: Find an image of you at that stage of life (even if that is close to now); if that is not available, use Google image search to find a stand in image that works for you. (Use descriptive and feeling terms like ‘sad freckly girl’ or ‘angry middle aged woman’). If you can’t find anything that works for you, please don’t worry about this step.

Step Two: Think about ‘her’ and imagine how she would respond to at least one of the following prompts. Try to pick at least one that relates to your sense of her big conflict or ultimate area of growth. Remember, this is her then, not you now. Be kind as you ask her to open up to you. Connect with her and listen to her.

• She believes her role in life is...
• She fears that when people look at her they see...
• Her problem is that...
• Her philosophy on life is...
• The thought that keeps her up at night is...
• She wishes people knew that...
• Her dream is...
• She feels stuck because...
• Tell her you want to write down her story. Ask her to tell you what you need to know. Write her response to you.

This really may have brought up some feelings. Be gentle with yourself. Good work!

For a memoir to really succeed, the author has to do such hard work before they come to the page. They have to do a brutal self-examination of everything they believe to be true. -- Alexandra Fuller