The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages. -- Virginia Woolf

Fear(less) and Story

Yesterday we explored all the reasons you are afraid to write you story. Today we are going to challenge those fears. (We can’t let those fears hang around and undermine your work!)

Please review what you wrote yesterday in response to “I am afraid to write this story because…”

Now, take every fear you have written and reformulate it into a positive response -- no matter how cringe-worthy or false the positive statement feels. I am not asking you to believe the positive response. I am asking you to write it. You can do that!

Here is an example of how one might do this exercise:

• Fear: I am not talented enough to tell this story.
• Positive Response: I am the only person who can tell this story and know how to get help where I need help.
• Fear: I will waste a long time on a project that amounts to nothing.
• Positive Response: Working on this project is meaningful to me. I am not in charge of outcomes.
• Fear: I am afraid to tell the truth.
• Positive Response: I am learning to speak my truth and can handle whatever I finally decide about telling my story.

This is usually an unexpectedly challenging exercise. If you are struggling. Here is a process to come up with a positive statement.

• Write a very simple opposite statement of your fear. (eg. "I am not afraid" or "He won't bother me about my book.")
• Try to rewrite the sentences so they are about you. Start with an "I" statement, like, "I can handle it if he bothers me about my book." 
• Try to rewrite the sentences so they have positive words rather than a negative word, like, "I am brave" instead of "I am not afraid."

The positive statements do not have to feel true - in all likelihood, every part of you is protesting them as completely false! In your brain, that critical voice always has you all to herself. She talks and critiques you and no one ever challenges her! Today we are going to challenge her. We are confronting her and what she has to stay. We might not believe what we are saying, but, at least for today, we aren’t going to let her rule the roost.

After you’ve done that, I’d encourage you to pick on of these prompts for your free writing exercise.

• Writing this story is a good thing for me to do because...
• My wildest fantasy about writing this story is.... (Be bold here! Imagine that your book sells wildly, is well reviewed, is beloved by readers, helps you find peace, is read by Oprah, earns you income. Anything! No one will ever read this journal, so dream big and be bold!)

Great work! In the next exercise we get back into your story -- finding the girl leading the way...

Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. -- Brene Brown