Every word a woman writes changes the story of the world, revises the official version. 

 -Carolyn See

Lifeline Reflections

The Process

The exercises over the next few weeks will push you to explore different aspects of your life. Some will resonate and some will feel totally flat. That variability is part of this messy process. Keep pushing through the exercises so you can feel what resonates for you. That push until you find something is how we find your story. 

Over the next several weeks, you will start to identify stories (or parts of stories) you would like to tell, but you will also identify stories that are still too difficult to write. (You might also find that the first few days feel easy and that all of this consideration is unnecessary! That is okay. It may not be the case as you continue.) My goal is for you to do a just few minutes of writing each day — to open up your story with a process that is deep, but brief and not too overwhelming.

I am She

Research proves that we are wiser and kinder to ourselves when we speak about ourselves in the 3rd person. We are better able to tolerate negative emotions and more rapidly self soothe. With that research in mind, I’d like for you to try to write about yourself in the third person for this exercise. (eg., instead of “I was so broken when they left” you would write, “She was so broken when they left.”). I am not suggesting you need to write your memoir in the third person, we are using this trick as a tool to develop a more compassionate stance toward the younger you.

Now, back to your Lifeline!

Today we are going to reflect on yesterday’s Lifeline work. These questions are not therapeutic writing prompts (which we will start tomorrow). With these exercises, you can start, stop, start over, write lists, draw pictures, or explore in any way that feels most natural to you.

Looking at your Lifeline, please choose at least one question to explore - select the one that resonates most for you.

You will notice that I’m using third person in some of these questions. With those prompts, see if you are able to write your response in the third person.

• Were you surprised by the first things that came to mind or that you first wrote down? Were you surprised by the things you (at least initially) left out? Why do you think you were drawn to include some things, but forget others?
• Can you separate her life story into any major stages or turning points? What are they?
• Were you able to notice eras or events when you started to believe something about yourself? (From the cognitions page.) Do you still believe those things about yourself? What does the older and wiser you think about her early conclusions about herself?
• Can you identify any points of overcoming?
• Is her Lifeline crowded during some stages and not in others? Why do you think that is the case? What is different about those crowded and empty spaces?
• If she had to name a dominant theme in her life, what would it be??
• What was it like to identify a center year of her life so far? What happened before and after that center point?
• Can you identify a driving issue or problem that has had a major impact on more than one action or choice?
• What do you see to be the biggest emotional drives (eg. fear, seeking love, wanting approval, etc), that might have driven her decisions?
• What has she learned so far? If you took a compassionate, wise woman perspective of her life, what do you believe she still needs to learn?
• What was it like to look at her life through this Lifeline Exercise?

Your work with the life Lifeline is done, for now. In our next exercise, we will start the therapeutic writing prompts. (No idea what that means? Don’t worry! You will!)

Great work!

StoryList

Please write down any new ideas you have about a life story you may write. These notes are intended to be incomplete, not-fully-formed tidbits. You don't have to write much, just enough to jog your memory.

Anybody who has survived her childhood has enough information about life to last her the rest of her days.

-- Flannery O'Connor